When the stars are aligned, I have a pretty fantastic morning routine:
✨ Up at 5 a.m. to meditate, read, and journal.
✨ Hop on the Peloton or take a walk from 6–7 a.m.
✨ Shower and do the morning school run, home by 8:30 a.m.
✨ A quick breakfast, a little coffee, and I’m in business by 9 a.m.
Now, ask me when the last time was that the stars were aligned.
😬😬😬
I just started to write out all the reasons I haven't done my “miracle morning” lately, and man-oh-man did they sound like so many boring old excuses!
But that’s just it. Sometimes our reasons for not doing the thing we want to do are just boring old excuses. And that's OK. You don't have to get stuck here.
Beyond excuses and self-blame
If there’s anything worse than not achieving what you want, it’s beating yourself up for not achieving what you want.
If you want change, you’re probably going to have to do some challenging, if not down-right hard, things. And you won’t nail it every time. You probably won’t nail it most of the time, at least at first.
But if you can navigate the space between letting yourself off the hook (excuses) and getting out the emotional cudgel (self-blame), you’ll find yourself back on track sooner.
Here are some thoughts for what to do when your stars don’t align.
Be nice to you.
It’s not easy to create change, and you're certainly not alone in trying. See if you can acknowledge your feelings and struggles without judgment. Self-compassion can free you from cycles of excuses and self-blame and motivate you to move forward.
Remember, “There’s no problem, only solutions.” (Thanks, John Lennon. ☮️ )
Rather than dwelling on what went wrong or why things are hard, look for solutions. Break down your challenges into smaller, more manageable steps. When you focus on what you can do, you’ll see you have more power than you thought.
Keep it real.
Unrealistic expectations are a short road to self-blame. (Perhaps my “miracle mornings” start too early? Take too long?) By setting goals that match the reality of your circumstances and abilities, you'll create a sense of accomplishment that invigorates, rather than discourages.
Nix the negativity.
Listen closely: Is your inner narrator trash-talking you? When you catch yourself making excuses or blaming yourself, challenge those thoughts. How can you replace those thoughts with self-encouragement and positive (and true!) affirmations?
Be accountable … in a constructive way.
Instead of blaming yourself for mistakes, can you reframe them as learning experiences? You still take responsibility for your choices, but by focusing on what you can do differently next time, you make more intentional and powerful next steps.
If you’re looking for support while you make important changes in your life, I’d be honored to walk beside you! Email me at jill@jillpatton.com or click the button below to schedule a complimentary 30-minute discovery call.